“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” –Erol Ozan
I don’t remember a time when I wanted to be in a profession that wasn’t in the medical field. I’ve wanted to be everything from a doctor to an anesthesiologist, even a medical examiner. In 2017 the time came where I had to pick a major which for me meant I had to decide what I really wanted to do. I landed on nursing the idea was that nurses get to be more hands on with the patient with less schooling. By my logic this would be more fulfilling. So, I did it, applied for my schools nursing program and dived head first into the prerequisites while assuring everyone that I wouldn’t change my mind. I followed blogs, youtubers (Alexis Nicole), empowering women (Nurse Mo and Nurse Jean) on Instagram and even joined Facebook groups all for nursing. I wanted to be as mentally prepared as I would be academically. It was going great on paper and about two months ago I got my letter saying that I was accepted into the nursing class and would be starting in the spring ! I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED! I showed everyone back home and was met with a lot of congratulations
I wasn’t excited anymore, it didn’t just hit me all at once I had thought about this all summer. “Was nursing really for me?” “Do the long shifts and emotional tolls really tie in to the picture I have for my life?” The honest answer was “no” but that didn’t stop me from coming into this semester dead set on being a nursing major. Around my birthday is when I really decided that something with this plan was wrong. Either I was at the wrong school or in the wrong program. I wasn’t happy, I had no drive to do any of my work, and honestly, I felt like I hadn’t learned a single thing here.
So what now?
So, I started thinking of a plan and what it would mean for me not to be in school next semester. Because if you know me you know I plan EVERYTHING and needed a new plan before abandoning this one. I wish I could say I prayed over this plan, but I didn’t. It was just one of those things that tugs at you until you finally listen. I decided that I would take a semester “off” while working and taking a phlebotomy class. I would use this experience to see if patients and hospitals were really the type of work for me. The most important thing about this time for me is self-care. I spend a lot of time caring for and taking care of others; making sure all their needs are met therefore neglecting my own. See, I’m a “Yes I’ll do it!” type of person and I tend to bite off more than I can chew. (Sorry mom!) My time at school so far has pushed me to a spot where I don’t even truly know what Lexi wants or who Lexi even really is. I discovered that regardless of the stigma around it counseling can be a great resource if you put effort into it. I will be spending more time doing things I am most passionate about (writing duh) and towards some of my goals. This extra free time is something I am determined not to waste and when I do decide to enroll next fall, I am looking at being a communications major with a minor in creative writing! I am so thankful for my inner circle that wants to see me at my best and are supporting me in my craziness again.
So, this week as you are either entering finals (or recovering from them) I encourage you to show yourself some self-care and put a little work into that hobby you haven’t had time for lately.
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