Monday after posting my first Motivation Monday post I received my FIRST request from a reader for advice on dating someone your family doesn’t exactly approve of. I am beyond excited about this! I hope this opens the door for more request in the future as I am more than willing to write. Check out my response below!
I guess my best and most simple response would be a quote that I have found all over Twitter lately: “No one has to accept your significant other, other than you.”
Dating is hard and I can’t say that I personally have the most experience in the field. What I do know is that when you open the doors to the opinions of others, your relationship becomes a sinking ship.
Reading her question, I went immediately to qualities of a relationship that tell me it is okay to stay:
1. I am happy and feel loved.
2. They motivate me as a person and push me towards my purpose. They do not distract me from that purpose.
3. We trust each other.
4. We respect each other and the relationship.
5. We support each other’s goals.
6. They include our relationship in their future plans.
There are obviously more aspects that make a healthy and worthwhile relationship; however, the point is no where in that list is “my family’s approval”. Do I desire my family and significant other to get along? -Yes! Is that a deal breaker for my relationship? -Absolutely not! I truly believe that if the relationship is healthy and keeping me happy then my family will decide to be happy because I am happy. So then comes the “They see the things the love has made you blind to.” Argument. Okay, that’s a valid one. It is possible to ignore some red flags due to your emotions but eventually they come to light. So, I agree except for the fact that dating to me is a trial and error thing. Most people don’t marry their first boyfriend or girlfriend. So, the wrong relationships are basically meant to teach you what you don’t want and to help you recognize the one that is going to be worthwhile. It’s perfectly natural to want to please your family members but at the end of the day you are the one that has to live your life. If you’re happy and continuing to thrive while in your relationship the decision to stay in the relationship is completely your own. Your family will surely come around when they notice how truly happy you are with your partner.
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